The First Question of Course Was How to Get Dry Again
Affiliate Three
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping moisture, cross, and uncomfortable.The starting time question of course was, how to go dry once again: they had a consultation near this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at final turned sulky, and would only say, `I am older than you lot, and must know amend'; and this Alice would not permit without knowing how old information technology was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, in that location was no more than to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority amongst them, called out, `Sit, all of you, and listen to me! I'll before long make you dry enough!' They all sabbatum down at in one case, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did non get dry very presently.
`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are yous all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conquistador, whose crusade was favoured past the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accepted to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: `Did yous speak?'
`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, alleged for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, establish it advisable--"'
`Found what?' said the Duck.
`Constitute information technology,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of form you lot know what "it" means.'
`I know what "it" means well plenty, when I find a thing,' said the Duck: `it'due south generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?'
The Mouse did not detect this question, but hurriedly went on, `"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William'due south bear at first was moderate. Just the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice equally information technology spoke.
`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't seem to dry me at all.'
`In that example,' said the Dodo solemnly, rise to its feet, `I motility that the coming together adjourn, for the firsthand adoption of more energetic remedies--'
`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of one-half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe yous do either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
`What I was going to say,' said the Dullard in an offended tone, `was, that the best thing to become us dry out would be a Conclave-race.'
`What is a Caucus-race?' said Alice; non that she wanted much to know, only the Dodo had paused as if information technology thought that somebody ought to speak, and no 1 else seemed inclined to say anything.
`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best manner to explicate it is to do it.' (And, equally you might like to attempt the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell y'all how the Dodo managed it.)
First it marked out a race-form, in a sort of circle, (`the exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and so all the party were placed along the form, here and there. At that place was no `One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry over again, the Dullard suddenly called out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, and request, `But who has won?'
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long fourth dimension with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you unremarkably run into Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the remainder waited in silence. At concluding the Dodo said, `Everybody has won, and all must accept prizes.'
`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.
`Why, she, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into information technology), and handed them circular as prizes. There was exactly one a-slice all round.
`Simply she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
`Of class,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else take you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
`Hand information technology over here,' said the Dodo.
And then they all crowded round her one time more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.
Dullard presenting thimble
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did non dare to laugh; and, as she could not recall of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking every bit solemn every bit she could.
The next thing was to consume the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the pocket-sized ones choked and had to be patted on the dorsum. However, information technology was over at concluding, and they saturday down again in a band, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
`You promised to tell me your history, y'all know,' said Alice, `and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, one-half afraid that it would be offended again.
`Mine is a long and a pitiful tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.
`It is a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse'due south tail; `simply why do you phone call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling about information technology while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:--
`Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, "Let us both go to law: I will prosecute YOU. --Come up, I'll accept no denial; We must accept a trial: For actually this morning I've zilch to do." Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear Sir, With no jury or approximate, would be wasting our jiff." "I'll be judge, I'll be jury," Said cunning erstwhile Fury: "I'll attempt the whole cause, and condemn you to death."'`Yous are not attention!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. `What are you thinking of?'
Mouse telling story to birds and Alice
`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to the fifth curve, I call up?'
`I had non!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do permit me aid to disengage information technology!'
`I shall exercise nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting upwardly and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `Only you're and then easily offended, you know!'
The Mouse only growled in reply.
`Delight come back and finish your story!' Alice chosen afterward it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but the Mouse simply shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon equally it was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter `Ah, my love! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose your atmosphere!' `Concur your tongue, Ma!' said the immature Crab, a picayune snappishly. `Yous're enough to endeavor the patience of an oyster!'
`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in detail. `She'd presently fetch it back!'
`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was ever ready to talk about her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she'southward such a capital i for communicable mice y'all can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her later on the birds! Why, she'll swallow a lilliputian bird as soon as wait at it!'
This spoken language caused a remarkable awareness amidst the political party. Some of the birds hurried off at in one case: one old Magpie began wrapping itself upwardly very advisedly, remarking, `I really must be getting abode; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary chosen out in a trembling vocalism to its children, `Come abroad, my dears! It's high time y'all were all in bed!' On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was presently left lonely.
`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'chiliad sure she's the best cat in the earth! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to weep again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a piffling while, however, she again heard a picayune pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his heed, and was coming back to finish his story.
Next chapter: The Rabbit Sends in a Niggling Bill
Source: https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~rgs/alice-III.html#:~:text=The%20first%20question%20of%20course,known%20them%20all%20her%20life.
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